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Relationship Relapse

Wanna get back with an ex - think hard!

Have you been watching too much television? All those Romanic commercials and perfect families... This often leads to reminiscing about your last relationship (or whichever relationship that's still on your mind), and poof! The next thing you know you're off to dinner - or worse, drinks - with your former flame. And before you can say "I'm happy to be single" you're back in the same relationship - or the same rut - or thinking too much about being in that old relationship. But before you really do it, read on!

In most cases (not all because some should be resurrected!), there were very good reasons for your split. It may seem harder if you weren't the one doing the dumping (we've all gone into that fantasy of our lover returning to profess the horrible mistake they made leaving), but it's all the more reason not to go there - not now anyway. If you're considering return to a relationship (and for the right reasons, not just a warm body to sleep beside or the rose tinted shades of your memory), take it slow!
If your ex really wants to give it a go and you think it's worthwhile, keep things casual for now. Even if it is meant to be (and maybe it is!), by running right back in, you risk returning to old habits - the ones that lead to a break up in the first place. You'll need to properly address what went wrong and how you both want to prevent it in honest and practical terms. For instance, if your jealousy drove your partner away, have you done the work required to not feel that way anymore; can you trust the person loves you and not be obsessive.

Likewise, if you left because you constantly felt disregarded or like your mate never had enough time for you, have you come to a compromise that will satisfy your needs and allow them the time to do what needs to get done outside the relationship? The holidays are hectic and our time commitments are different (sometimes busier and yet in a way, freer due to time off from work). Wait until things return to normal to make a solid decision.

And whatever you do, consider what you're true motivations are. If it's just that commercial with the smiling couple, don't go running backward. Keep your eyes ahead and have faith that the right person for you will come along… It's most likely you and your ex wouldn't be smiling in the long run! You can't rewrite history.


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