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Know the difference


-Arati Gurung


There’s a big difference in ‘loving’ someone and ‘feeling love’ for someone. In the Nepali language, they call it ‘maya launu’ and ‘maya lagnu’. Inspite of the difference, it’s easy to get tangled into ‘feeling the love’ for someone to misinterpret it as love. It does appear a little confusing, but for those of us who’ve gone through it, it should make sense.


Anyone can tell that the one who enters a relationship based on such confusion (or any other confusion for that matter); will find it difficult to sustain in the long run. Let’s take an example, a very common scene; there’s a girl whose crazy about a guy, her madness makes the guy feel bad for ignoring her, maybe the girl has other problems in her life too and in a way the guy feels obligated to return her love, so with sympathy he accepts the relationship. You can tell how the relationship is going to go. There’s one thing that’s for sure; there will be a lot of bumps.


Of course there are bumps in every relationship, no matter how it began. The important thing is what these bumps are based on. If the problem is about ‘love’ itself then that’s a really huge bump, that’s a hump. And while some can’t even climb over a hump, there are some who don’t stay in one piece after climbing over one.


The difference in ‘feeling the love’ and ‘falling in love’ is that the love in the latter is the kind that a couple should have. The other kind is the kind one can have with other relations in his life, like a pet turtle or an old stuffed teddy bear.


It’s important to know what your relationship is based on, how it began and what it is that keeps it burning. For some infatuation is what initiated the years of devotion, while for others it could be fun flirting. But getting into a relationship by feeling obligated is a different situation altogether, the results are rarely the way we want to see it.


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